I’ve never had children of my own, but I do claim the children of many of my friends (it’s a much easier, less expensive parenting plan). Enter Madolynn Hurley.
I sang with her mother in college and met her father a few years later. Then a few years after that I was in their wedding. Ten months after that I met Madolynn. 26 years after that I’m beaming with pride on how well she turned out. Read on to see for yourself…
I am 26 years old and single. In a few months, I will turn 27 and then I can no longer deny that I am in my late 20s. For those of you that are beyond your late 20s, I’m sorry for sounding like a whiner when I’m really quite young. Boy, do I know it. Singleness is weird to me because everyone is born single. Maybe it’s in my head (I’m pretty sure it’s not), but people have made it seem like getting married is a “level up” or somehow moving on to the next stage of adulthood. Being in my late 20s and unmarried means that I’m not as “adult” as the 21-year-old girls who are married, right? And don’t get me started on how having kids factors into that. All that to say, I’m getting older and am still young all at the same time.
People seem to have low standards for single women. They recommend that we pursue guys that have bad theology, bad hygiene, or are just overall not great guys. These recommendations, of course, come from women who are themselves married or pretty seriously dating. I want to ask, “have your standards lowered since getting into a relationship or do you just have low standards for me?”
If I get married (and yes, I would like to be married), I want to be married to someone amazing. Someone who treats me well and treats others well. Someone who loves Jesus and challenges me as one of Christ’s disciples. Someone who will work alongside me to usher the Kingdom of God into the here and now.
The thing is, I don’t want my life to wait until I meet a man. I want to be challenged to grow in serving God, not beginning to serve Him. I can love the Lord my God with all my heart and soul and mind and love others as myself by myself. Nothing about those commandments indicates that I should hold off until I am married.
It has taken me a lot of time to come to this conclusion and I can’t promise that I’ll always be strong enough to feel it with all my heart. I know that the feeling will ebb and flow just like every feeling does. This, though, is what I believe: It is not better to be married. It is not better to be single. The best thing for you is to be where God wants you to be at this moment. Let me say it again for myself, but feel free to say it with me: The best thing for me is to be where God wants me to be at this moment. God can bless every circumstance. God can use you no matter your marital status. True, holy, pure joy is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. Abide with God now! To quote Elevation Worship, “come today, there’s no reason to wait. Jesus is calling” (“O Come to the Altar,” 2016).
We have each been uniquely and carefully created by God with different gifts, talents, and passions. Colossians 3:17 says “Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” Immediately following this verse is a list of ways that people can lay down pride and exchange it for love. One of the many great mysteries of God is that when we surrender control and pride, we have more room in our arms to receive blessing. When we give ourselves for the sake of others, we somehow end up more filled. Married or single, I hope that all people would recognize how special they are to God and how much they are able to contribute to His Kingdom.
You go Madolynn!
Are you as impressed with Madolynn as I am? We can’t take comments here, but please feel free to leave them on the Facebook post.